Editor’s Note: This is the sixth in a series written by my sister-in-law Stephanie. Hope you enjoy learning from her experiences. She’ll be back on the occasional Friday to make you smile as you dream of the weekend.
Notes from a Dummy Queen
I’m a dummy.
Yeah, that’s me. I admit it.
Which is why I’m writing this to you.
I’m here to relay important information to you in an attempt to defend your reputation, in an attempt to save your face.
I figure I might as well spare you those inexcusable moments when you think: “Duh…I should have known that,” or “Ugh…why did I say that?”I am known as a dummy; there’s really no need for you to sport that title, too. It’s not that great.
Have you ever had a bad night? You know, the kind when you wake up in the morning next to your brother-in-law instead of your husband? No? Come on – these kinds of things surly don’t only happen to me.
Lesson #6 : Don’t sleep with your brother-in-law
Take it from the Dummy Queen. Life is better when you have less explaining to do.
We were on a family vacation to Italy. Brother, Sister, Mom, Dad, all the spouses, even my Aunts and Grandparents were along with us. And Isola Bella Island was absolutely beautiful. When we arrived, we all opened our hotel windows and looked out over the mountains and water – breath taking! Perfect weather. Perfect hotel. Perfect location.
My husband and I immediately noticed when we opened our window that you could climb out onto the roof of the hotel – so we did. And for the rest of our stay there, we climbed from our window to our family members’ windows instead of using the doors. It was great fun.
But, we made one little mistake. My husband and I forgot to close our window.
When we got back later that night we found lots of little crawly friends making themselves comfortable in our room. Lots meaning more like THOUSANDS. Some were small and grouped together in little black specks all over the ceiling; some were huge cockroach thingys that just about put me over the edge; and some were in our sheets – which DID put me over the edge. I refused to sleep.
But my husband had a great idea based on the fact that bugs are attracted to light. I mean, it was how they all ended up in our room in the first place…
“Let’s hide in the bathroom,” he says, “and let’s open the door to the hallway. After a while the bugs should all migrate into the hotel hallway, right?”
Sounded good to me – anything sounded better than the idea of sleeping in the room with them. So we shut off all the lights in the room, propped open the room door, and hid ourselves in the bathroom. We even rolled up towels and covered the crack under the bathroom door to make sure none of the bugs would crawl their way in with us during their migration out of the room. After twenty minutes we hear knocking outside.
“You guys okay??”
It was my sister and her husband. They were worried we forgot to shut our bedroom door and had fallen asleep. Duh! Come on – do they really think we’re THAT dumb??? Of course we didn’t forget to shut our door!
After explaining, they invited us to sleep with them. So we crawled into bed…Dan on one end, me and Sara in the middle, and Chris (Sara’s husband) on the other end. We fell asleep.
… the next morning …
“Stephanie – where is Sara?”
“Huh?”
“Stephanie – WHAT is going on?”
I rub my eyes.
My aunt is standing in front of me at the end of the bed. Chris is stretching beside me. My husband is gone, my sister is gone; it’s just me and my brother–in–law. Boy, this looks bad.
Take it from the Dummy Queen – life is better when you have less explaining to do.
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